Top-Rated Posts of All Time

  • Periodic Discovery | 8 votes, average: 5 out of 58 votes, average: 5 out of 58 votes, average: 5 out of 58 votes, average: 5 out of 58 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 8 votes)
    I think I just discovered a new element. It would fall near the noble gases on the periodic table, however there isn’t anything noble or inert about this atomic mass. <br />

  • Robbery | 5 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 5 votes)
    The turd burglar is back in town. He just stole something of mine, but I don’t want it back. And it stinks terribly in this stall.

  • Asslanis Morissette | 5 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 5 votes)
    Asslanis Morissette just dropped a hot new single. With all the air time it’s getting, people are going to soon find out that it really is a piece of crap. <br />

  • Pu Ping’s House of Horrors | 5 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 55 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 5 votes)
    Herrro! I am Pu Ping. I make beef dumprings by Yerrow Sea. It rearry smerry. Many aporogies!<br />

  • Stigmata | 3 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 3 votes)
    I just exorcised my ass demons. The demons stink badly, and seem to want to linger within the confines of the bathroom.

  • ACT Convention | 3 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 53 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 3 votes)
    The annual Association of Colored Turds convention is underway right now; my ass just delivered the keynote.

  • Amusement Park | 1 votes, average: 5 out of 51 votes, average: 5 out of 51 votes, average: 5 out of 51 votes, average: 5 out of 51 votes, average: 5 out of 5 (5 out of 5, 1 votes)
    Sure, they’re flying down into a dark watery abyss…but this isn’t Disneyland, and that’s not Pirates of the Caribbean.

  • Tax Troubles | 6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 56 votes, average: 4.83 out of 56 votes, average: 4.83 out of 56 votes, average: 4.83 out of 56 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5, 6 votes)
    The IRS just conducted an ass audit on me. Turns out my ass was writing checks it couldn’t cash, and was making illegal deposits into a sludge fund.

  • Ice Cream Anyone? | 5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 55 votes, average: 4.8 out of 55 votes, average: 4.8 out of 55 votes, average: 4.8 out of 55 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5 (4.8 out of 5, 5 votes)
    The chocolate soft serve machine is acting up again…You might want it in a cup vs. a cone.

  • Revenge of the Turds | 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5, 8 votes)
    I just shot a movie called Revenge of the Turds: Spicy Revenge, starring Jerry McHotlog and Rod Burnsonwayout.