The Poo Monologues

Football Dreams

Tim — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 19:40:13 +0000

There’s the Chargers’ season. I see it.

As usual, I’m filled with disgust and relief. I’m a tad embarrassed, but at least it’s over.

Amusement Park

Tim — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:00:02 +0000

Sure, they’re flying down into a dark watery abyss…but this isn’t Disneyland, and that’s not Pirates of the Caribbean.

Erstwhile

Tim — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:21:10 +0000

I waved goodbye to my erstwhile companions. They’re no companions of mine anymore. Erstwhile.

Jump

Tim — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:20:47 +0000

He hated to be 1st out – his buddies still waiting to make the jump. What if they missed the drop zone?

Nevermind. There they are.

Kentucky Derby

Tim — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:04:28 +0000

I just gave birth to the Kentucky Derby winner – Big Brown Jr. His brother Leroy is no slouch either.

Sith Lord

Tim — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:46:00 +0000

It is said that only one Sith Lord can exist at a time. Would one of you swing by stall three and help me out? Cuz both of these look like Sith Lords to me…

Phil

Tim — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:46:00 +0000

Phil came out of his hole today. I don’t know why, exactly. As a matter of fact, I think he’s dead.

Lovers’ Lane

Tim — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:46:00 +0000

It’s just another night at Lovers’ Lane. The two cheeks caressing each other as one. Just then, a distant rumbling separates the lovers’ embrace, and from the bowels of the unknown, a projectile not characteristic of their love plunges them both into despair. Both lovers return to their cheeky dance a bit messy and smelly.

Periodic Discovery

Tim — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:46:00 +0000

I think I just discovered a new element. It would fall near the noble gases on the periodic table, however there isn’t anything noble or inert about this atomic mass.

Gas Leak

Tim — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:46:00 +0000

The San Diego gasman is here. Apparently there is a bad leak in my building.

I just bought an Oldsmobile Brougham last week.