The high winds advisory was ignored by some reckless high-profile turds. If it weren’t for the concentric shape of the highway, they for sure would have been blown off the road.

Toffee, toffee…what a treat.
Too bad it’s chewy, and sticks in your teeth.
I just released some as I stomped my feet…
And now I just realized, there is no TP in this stall.

Have you ever wondered…
If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus…
Why does this stall smell so bad?

Here I set, broken-hearted…tried to crap, but only….Oops, never mind!

The white water log ride at Ass-n-Butt Park must be down. The chute is working, but the logs are crashing into each other at the bottom. Oh! There they go! Weeee!

I’m making a sequel to the famous TV show “Little House on the Prairie.” It’s called “I’m Taking a Crap, and it Really Stinks.”

My “willy” Wonka has called out the umpa-lumpas to come and sing us a song. At least 20 little guys came out singing, but I don’t recognize the song. Plus, I believe they all have a cold since their voices sound raspy… They stink!

I’ve just laid to rest some honorable brown-mariners in the White Sea. Their pass-through was one of ease and tranquility…RIP, valient soldiers.

I just released the brown hounds… They are on to someone’s smell, but I think they lost him in the lake. And it smells.

Floggin’ Potty is in stall 3 ripping some stinky serious chords! The porcelain amphitheatre provides some great acoustic resonance. And it smells…

I’m in lane 3 at the Building 15 De-Crap-Athon. I thought I had just pulled ahead by a nugget, but lane 1 exploded past me to take the lead. This stinks!

The chocolate soft serve machine is acting up again…You might want it in a cup vs. a cone.