I just gave birth to the Kentucky Derby winner - Big Brown Jr. His brother Leroy is no slouch either.

It is said that only one Sith Lord can exist at a time. Would one of you swing by stall three and help me out? Cuz both of these look like Sith Lords to me…

Phil came out of his hole today. I don’t know why, exactly. As a matter of fact, I think he’s dead.

It’s just another night at Lovers’ Lane. The two cheeks caressing each other as one. Just then, a distant rumbling separates the lovers’ embrace, and from the bowels of the unknown, a projectile not characteristic of their love plunges them both into despair. Both lovers return to their cheeky dance a bit messy and smelly.

I think I just discovered a new element. It would fall near the noble gases on the periodic table, however there isn’t anything noble or inert about this atomic mass.

The San Diego gasman is here. Apparently there is a bad leak in my building.

I just bought an Oldsmobile Brougham last week.

The high winds advisory was ignored by some reckless high-profile turds. If it weren’t for the concentric shape of the highway, they for sure would have been blown off the road.

Toffee, toffee…what a treat.
Too bad it’s chewy, and sticks in your teeth.
I just released some as I stomped my feet…
And now I just realized, there is no TP in this stall.

Chunky peanut butter is awesome on toast.
Chunky peanut butter - I love it the most.
Chunky peanut butter, it goes coast to coast…
Cuz chunky peanut butter makes a ghost a great host.

Have you ever wondered…
If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus…
Why does this stall smell so bad?

Herrro! I am Pu Ping. I make beef dumprings by Yerrow Sea. It rearry smerry. Many aporogies!

There once was a man with bad gas
who tried to suppress gas in mass.
One day during sermon,
his guts started turnin’,
and the gift plate wasn’t all that was passed.

Good morning, Alien. Thank you for not punching your head through my stomach.

“There’s no business like show business, like no business I know.
Funny how I get that feeling…
Suddenly I have lost that certain feeling…
And I watch helplessly as my stage career goes down the drain.”

8 Ball in the corner pocket. Oops, I scratched and the ball goes flailing into the side.
Re-rack ‘em!

That’s funny…somebody left two Baby Ruth bars in the toilet. It just be my lucky day, as I am starving. Wait…those definitely are not candy bars.
They are turds…and they are mine.

One stinky winky…ah ah ah.
Two stinky winky…ah ah ah.
Three … Ah…
That’s just nasty.

Ol’ number 7 is once again bringing up the rear. At a steady pace, she is rounding the outside. Clippity, cloppity, clippity, cloppity. With a final surge, ol’ number 7 makes a final push and thrusts ahead…finishing 4 links ahead of the pack.

Now that the water is a-chummin’, the sharks they be a-comin’. Ouch!

The turd burglar has returned to town once again, yet I cannot seem to remember why. Oh wait..I know why. He wants to take my turd. That’s why.