There’s the Chargers’ season. I see it.

As usual, I’m filled with disgust and relief. I’m a tad embarrassed, but at least it’s over.

Sure, they’re flying down into a dark watery abyss…but this isn’t Disneyland, and that’s not Pirates of the Caribbean.

I waved goodbye to my erstwhile companions. They’re no companions of mine anymore. Erstwhile.

He hated to be 1st out – his buddies still waiting to make the jump. What if they missed the drop zone?

Nevermind. There they are.

I just gave birth to the Kentucky Derby winner – Big Brown Jr. His brother Leroy is no slouch either.

Phil came out of his hole today. I don’t know why, exactly. As a matter of fact, I think he’s dead.

It is said that only one Sith Lord can exist at a time. Would one of you swing by stall three and help me out? Cuz both of these look like Sith Lords to me…

I think I just discovered a new element. It would fall near the noble gases on the periodic table, however there isn’t anything noble or inert about this atomic mass.

It’s just another night at Lovers’ Lane. The two cheeks caressing each other as one. Just then, a distant rumbling separates the lovers’ embrace, and from the bowels of the unknown, a projectile not characteristic of their love plunges them both into despair. Both lovers return to their cheeky dance a bit messy and smelly.

The high winds advisory was ignored by some reckless high-profile turds. If it weren’t for the concentric shape of the highway, they for sure would have been blown off the road.

The San Diego gasman is here. Apparently there is a bad leak in my building.

I just bought an Oldsmobile Brougham last week.

Toffee, toffee…what a treat.
Too bad it’s chewy, and sticks in your teeth.
I just released some as I stomped my feet…
And now I just realized, there is no TP in this stall.

Have you ever wondered…
If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus…
Why does this stall smell so bad?

Herrro! I am Pu Ping. I make beef dumprings by Yerrow Sea. It rearry smerry. Many aporogies!

Chunky peanut butter is awesome on toast.
Chunky peanut butter – I love it the most.
Chunky peanut butter, it goes coast to coast…
Cuz chunky peanut butter makes a ghost a great host.

There once was a man with bad gas
who tried to suppress gas in mass.
One day during sermon,
his guts started turnin’,
and the gift plate wasn’t all that was passed.

“There’s no business like show business, like no business I know.
Funny how I get that feeling…
Suddenly I have lost that certain feeling…
And I watch helplessly as my stage career goes down the drain.”

Good morning, Alien. Thank you for not punching your head through my stomach.

8 Ball in the corner pocket. Oops, I scratched and the ball goes flailing into the side.
Re-rack ‘em!

Ol’ number 7 is once again bringing up the rear. At a steady pace, she is rounding the outside. Clippity, cloppity, clippity, cloppity. With a final surge, ol’ number 7 makes a final push and thrusts ahead…finishing 4 links ahead of the pack.